Oh, Carson!

Being a mom is the greatest joy in my life. I love my kids more than I could ever describe and want the very best for them! I worry that I am going to raise them the wrong way, that I'm not going to discipline them the correct way, that they are going to grow up and not know all the things they need to know.... the list goes on and on. As a parent, I'm still trying to figure out my parenting style and I don't know if I will ever really figure it out since each child is different. What works with Carson might not work for Brooklyn. Carson is kinda the experiment. I try things out on him, decide that I don't like that method, and then try something new. Sometimes I feel horrible!! I read a book on the Love Languages of children and have determined that Carson's love language is physical touch. He needs to be held, loved, hugged, kissed, and touched to feel love from his parents. I've been trying to do that more and he seems to respond better on the days that I do. Sometimes, though, it doesn't matter what I do - he is so naughty!!

One week was particularly bad for us. He was in his terrible 2 mode for sure! I tried to write down everything he did that week and this is the partial list I was able to record:

• Ate an entire tube of toothpaste
• Dumped out the kids shampoo and body wash in the bathtub while I was cleaning the carpets in the living room
• While I was cleaning up said shampoo and body wash, he smashed a Little Debbie cake into the carpet I had just shampooed
• Hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking, scratching, annoying Brooklyn - CONSTANTLY
• Smeared sunscreen all over my computer desk
• Rubbed about 1/4 of the Spiker hair gel in his hair (which took 4 washes to get out)
• Rubbed Jason's deodorant all over him
• Pulled all of the Kleenex out of a brand new box
• Dumped out all of Brooklyn's clear hair ties all over my bathroom floor - really hard to see and pick up
• Squirted an entire can of shaving cream in the bathtub
• Refusing to take naps and sneaking out of his bed - most of the time naked
• Won't keep his clothes on to save his life
• Ate an entire tube of LA looks hair gel
• Ate half a bottle of the kids gummy vitamins - mom had to call poison control - luckily he just had a tummy ache
• Rubbed lotion and clear defense all over the carpet
• He escaped from our pew during Sacrament meeting and stood in the aisle. As I was trying to get him to come back in, I realized he didn't have any pants on. As I pulled him in he threw himself down and hit his face on the bench, so I had to proceed to take my pants-less screaming child out. 
• Flour and sugar all over the kitchen
• Nail polish on my dresser
• BBQ sauce on my bed
• Lotion in his sister's hair

Reading the list you would think that I never watch my son. Ever. However, that is all I feel like I do! He is a tornado and my match for sure. I feel like my house is constantly a disaster because I can't keep up with my kiddos!

As hard as some days are (and believe me, I've thrown a few fits of my own lately), I'm still lucky and blessed to be a mom. I'm so glad I'm at home with them because I can't imagine trusting anyone else to love my kiddos on days when they add to the list above. Someday, maybe, I will figure out the whole mom thing. Someday, maybe, I will figure out how to discipline my kids in a way that actually works. Someday, maybe, I will look back and see that all of my crazy methods might have actually paid off and my kids aren't horrible spoiled rotten babies. In the meantime, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to follow the Spirit and know what to do with my kids. Sometimes that means bundling up my 2 year old and sending him outside - no matter the weather. :)

Swimming Lessons

I decided to put Carson in Swimming Lessons this month and I'm so glad I did! We started out in the Mom-and-Tot class because I wasn't sure how he would do with the water. Normally he isn't thrilled about being in the swimming pool and clings to me the whole time. The first lesson of the month, however, he LOVED it! He kept telling me to let him go! Needless to say, we bumped him up to the 3 year old class even though he won't be 3 until July. The first few weeks have been going great! He is learning a lot and mostly has overcome his fear of the water. I'm sure I will post updated at the end of the month when his lessons are done. :)

Boston

Today's news of the Boston Marathon bombings have left me heartbroken today. As a mother, the thought of something this devastating happening to my children or to any member of my family has left me emotional today. I refused to read too much about it until the kids were in bed because it upsets Carson when I cry and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears. Days like today I am scared to raise my children in a world filled with so much evil. I'm not just scared - I'm terrified. How do you explain to a child what happened? 

In those moments, however, when I'm praying for the victims and their families, that I am reminded that we aren't in this alone. My children were saved for this time and they are strong. We are strong. We will make it. Together - we will make it. 

I was reminded of a quote from Elder Holland today:

“The FUTURE of this world has long been DECLARED; the final outcome between GOOD and evil is already KNOWN. There is absolutely no question as to who WINS because the VICTORY has already been posted on the SCOREBOARD. The only really strange thing is all of this is that we are still down here on the FIELD trying to decide which TEAM’S JERSEY we want to wear!"

When events like today happen, and Evil seems to have won, it's important to remember who will win the final battle. We will. 

This house is praying for Boston. 

Swings

Two weeks ago we went up to Rexburg to hang out with Ashely and the kids. It was a semi-nice day, so we ate pizza at the park and played. Brooklyn tried the swings for the first time and she loved it. Kenzlee is such a great little cousin and pushed her and played with her all day. Carson and Joslynn loved swinging next to each other. I can't wait for it to be warm all the time so we can do this more often!

My Beliefs

This post has been a long time in the making. I have started it and versions of it for over a year now and haven't ever actually posted it. After watching General Conference last weekend and thinking about this issue for quite some time, I decided I would finally express the feelings I have had. Note: I do not mean to offend anyone by my comments, but I am going to speak honestly and bluntly about things I have felt and do feel.

I have lots of friends and family not of my faith and I love them all dearly. Part of the reason I love them and appreciate them is because of our differences and I respect them for their beliefs. I know that their beliefs, although different than mine, are what make them who they are. That being said, I sometimes feel like that same love and tolerance for my religion is not returned. 

I want to be clear about something. Respecting someone for their beliefs and religion does not mean that you have to agree with said beliefs and religion. I, obviously, do not agree with everything that my friends/family believe. That is OK!  I still love them and support them in their beliefs and religion. I want them to be happy and find peace and worship God. I know that their beliefs and religion are a huge part - if not all- of who they are. To be someone's true friend and to truly love them, you have to love every part of them. If you can't accept that their religion and beliefs make up who they are, do you really love them? I try my hardest to make sure that I am always positive and uplifting about the people I care about and about their beliefs and religion. I support them in EVERYTHING they do. I have gone to many functions, fundraisers, worship services, etc. of other faiths when it is important to my friends and I have been invited to come. In fact, I feel like it is an honor and a privilege to be trusted with something so special and sacred to others. 

For some time now, I have felt like there are people who don't respect me or love me for the things that make me who I am - my religion and beliefs. Rude comments, jokes, and mocking comments are made with a smile so that they come off as "teasing" but they are still hurtful - extremely hurtful. Since I have never wanted to really argue, most of the time I brush the comments off and change the subject. However, they still bother me for a long time afterwards. I didn't ever realize how bad it had gotten until I took a step back and looked at my blog.

I write my blog for my family first and for my friends second. I have found myself not posting very much about my beliefs and my religion - even though I want to. I had to stop and really ask myself, "Why?" I want my kids to know my testimony and to never question the things I believe. Why, then, do I not post about it more? Why do I not share little insights that I learn and feelings that I have? Why do I not share messages that I find uplifting and talks that I love? I have realized that I don't do it because I don't want to offend those that believe differently than I do. I have become so burdened by the hurtful comments and rude remarks, that I have let it affect me personally and my willingness to share the Gospel with those around me.

All of that being said, I am going to start posting more about my beliefs and testimony on my blog. It is not meant to offend anyone, but it is important for me to share with my family and friends. I hope that those who care enough to read my blog also care enough about me to accept me for who I am and my religion/beliefs that make me the person/wife/mother/friend/sister that I am. I might not be perfect, but I am doing my best. I am learning and growing every day. I am trying harder to be better and come closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, and I want to record all of the experiences that get me one step closer. 

Super Hero Night

The first Monday of every month, Chick-Fil-A does a family night. April's family night was Super Hero Night and I decided to take the kids, even though it was the same day that Carson had his dental work done. Good choice. We had already eaten dinner at home so we just went for some ice cream. 

We got there and Carson was given a cape and a mask (he chose the Hulk mask) and he got to put toppings on his ice cream. Then we went outside and he jumped his little heart out in the bounce house. He loves those things! He was laughing and having a great time. Brooklyn and I just hung out in the lawn chair eating his ice cream. 

While Carson was in the bounce house having a blast, Spiderman and Batman appeared!! Carson shot out of the house so fast and ran to them. It was the cutest thing and totally made his day week. He just wanted to hang out with them and talk to them all night. When it was time for us to leave he had to go find Spiderman and Batman again to say goodbye. Spiderman even let him spray the silly string he was carrying with him. The kid was in heaven. 

Since it was FHE night, we talked on the car ride home and for a few minutes later that night about Super Heros and how Jesus Christ is the best "Hero" of them all because He saved all mankind. It might have been a stretch, but I think my 2 year old son understood what I was trying to teach him. Later that night I was taking something out of the oven and put on my red oven mitt. Carson screamed, "Mom, you look like Spiderman!!" I sure do love my little sweetheart and I love all the little things that make his world go round. 

Carson's Dentist Experience

Last summer I took Carson to the dentist for the first time for a cleaning and exam. He had just turned 2 and had all of his teeth in. I was a little bit nervous for that first appointment because I hadn't been the best at brushing his teeth every night and wanted to make sure things looked good. Things looked great and I breathed a sigh of relief. I vowed that from that point on I would be really good about making sure we brushed his teeth every night and flossed. For the most part I was pretty good about it! In fact, Carson liked it when I flossed his teeth and he liked the taste of the toothpaste so he didn't mind brushing his teeth that much either. Some nights he would fight me, but most nights it was ok. 

Watching "Monsters Inc." during his cleaning and exam

In February it came time for his cleaning and exam again. I took him in knowing that he probably had two cavities close to his gum line on 2 of his teeth because I could see the discolor. The dentist confirmed that I was right and we scheduled a time for him to come back and be sedated so they could fill them.  I brought him in and they have him some medicine to make him a little loopy before taking him from me. They said they would do x-rays to make sure they didn't miss anything and then they would fill those 2 cavities. They would come get me if anything was wrong.

Loopy Carson getting carried away from me

Well, they came and got me about 10 minutes later with some bad news. Carson had 14 - yes, you read that right - cavities. All of them were small and between his teeth because his teeth were so tight together. I was devastated and felt like the worst mom EVER! We had to schedule a time at the hospital to bring him in an completely put him under so that they could fill all of the cavities. I felt horrible. My poor baby!

So sleepy while the laughing gas wore off

On April 1st, Mommy and Carson woke up really early to be at the hospital by 6:30. We packed Carson's backpack with games and toys, stayed in our pjs, and off we went.

He did such an awesome job while we were there. Doctors and machines don't scare him anymore since he has been around them his whole life. They have him a stuffed dog and some coloring stuff and he was in heaven. My sweet little boy. When they came to get him he let them carry him down the hall and waved goodbye to me like it was no big deal. My sweet, brave little boy.

The dentist came and got me when they were done and ready to wake him up. He was having a hard time breathing and they knew he would be a little upset when he woke up. The poor kid was gasping for air and coughing horribly! It wasn't that bad with either of my kids when they got their tubes in, so I wasn't ready for that. They gave him a breathing treatment (which he HATED) and I finally got him to calm down and fall asleep on me. He kept asking to go home.

As soon as I got him home he was bouncing off the walls like normal. Silly kid! His mouth was a little sore for about a week, but it seems to be just fine now. They actually shaved a little off of his teeth on the bottom front to create space between his teeth. It took care of all of the cavities (since they were so small) and hopefully prevented future ones. His breathing never really got better after he woke up so I took him to the doctor the next day. Turns out he caught croup! Darn kid can't catch a break! I sure hope he doesn't ever have to go through something like this again!

Easter Day

Since we have church at 1pm on Sundays, we decided to spend the morning doing things together for Easter. I made homemade buttermilk pancakes with homemade syrup for breakfast. I had bought a cute flower and egg pancake mold last year on clearance and wanted to use them. However, when it came time to make the pancakes I forgot about them! Oops! I guess next year we will try again.

Carson loved dying eggs so much that we decided to dye them again. I bought an egg spinner last year on clearance and we tried it out. Carson loved pushing the button and watching them turn different colors.

We put out Easter baskets for the kiddos this year. We didn't talk about the Easter Bunny at all this year, or last year for that matter. I'm not sure that I want too. I love Easter because of what it means - that Christ was resurrected. I really want to try and focus on that instead of the Easter Bunny. Granted, dying eggs and Easter egg baskets aren't exactly focused on Christ, but they are still a fun family tradition and there isn't anything wrong with that. Still trying to figure out exactly how I want to pull of the whole Christmas/Easter fun traditions vs. getting away from the true meaning. Any ideas would be appreciated. :)

Carson got new socks, 2 new shirts, and some bath toys. Brooklyn got new socks, a new pair of shoes, and some new clothes. We had to try out the new bath toys for Carson right away! We got him cars that actually drive on water. They are pretty cool. You pull them back on the water and off they go. He loved them.

After Church my sisters and their families came over for Easter dinner. The girl cousins were all wearing matching dresses so we attempted to get a picture. Brooklyn didn't exactly want to cooperate.

We also attempted a family picture while we were all still dressed in our Easter best. It turned out pretty good considering no naps!

After dinner we had an egg hunt in the backyard. Once again, the kids loved it and got WAY too much candy. That's ok, the parents helped eat it. Carson and Brooklyn are pro egg-hunters! Way to go team Messano!

"Look, Dad! It fits on my head!"

Brooklyn and Joslyn eating mini M&M's off the floor

Wrapper and all....

Miss Independent

 

Checking out the loot

All in all it was a great day. Church was wonderful, dinner was pretty good (considering the burned ham), and the egg hunt was fun. I am so grateful that our Savior was resurrected on Easter Sunday so that we can all be resurrected someday. I know He lives. I know He loves us. How blessed we are to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. Happy Easter!