Oh, Carson!

Being a mom is the greatest joy in my life. I love my kids more than I could ever describe and want the very best for them! I worry that I am going to raise them the wrong way, that I'm not going to discipline them the correct way, that they are going to grow up and not know all the things they need to know.... the list goes on and on. As a parent, I'm still trying to figure out my parenting style and I don't know if I will ever really figure it out since each child is different. What works with Carson might not work for Brooklyn. Carson is kinda the experiment. I try things out on him, decide that I don't like that method, and then try something new. Sometimes I feel horrible!! I read a book on the Love Languages of children and have determined that Carson's love language is physical touch. He needs to be held, loved, hugged, kissed, and touched to feel love from his parents. I've been trying to do that more and he seems to respond better on the days that I do. Sometimes, though, it doesn't matter what I do - he is so naughty!!

One week was particularly bad for us. He was in his terrible 2 mode for sure! I tried to write down everything he did that week and this is the partial list I was able to record:

• Ate an entire tube of toothpaste
• Dumped out the kids shampoo and body wash in the bathtub while I was cleaning the carpets in the living room
• While I was cleaning up said shampoo and body wash, he smashed a Little Debbie cake into the carpet I had just shampooed
• Hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking, scratching, annoying Brooklyn - CONSTANTLY
• Smeared sunscreen all over my computer desk
• Rubbed about 1/4 of the Spiker hair gel in his hair (which took 4 washes to get out)
• Rubbed Jason's deodorant all over him
• Pulled all of the Kleenex out of a brand new box
• Dumped out all of Brooklyn's clear hair ties all over my bathroom floor - really hard to see and pick up
• Squirted an entire can of shaving cream in the bathtub
• Refusing to take naps and sneaking out of his bed - most of the time naked
• Won't keep his clothes on to save his life
• Ate an entire tube of LA looks hair gel
• Ate half a bottle of the kids gummy vitamins - mom had to call poison control - luckily he just had a tummy ache
• Rubbed lotion and clear defense all over the carpet
• He escaped from our pew during Sacrament meeting and stood in the aisle. As I was trying to get him to come back in, I realized he didn't have any pants on. As I pulled him in he threw himself down and hit his face on the bench, so I had to proceed to take my pants-less screaming child out. 
• Flour and sugar all over the kitchen
• Nail polish on my dresser
• BBQ sauce on my bed
• Lotion in his sister's hair

Reading the list you would think that I never watch my son. Ever. However, that is all I feel like I do! He is a tornado and my match for sure. I feel like my house is constantly a disaster because I can't keep up with my kiddos!

As hard as some days are (and believe me, I've thrown a few fits of my own lately), I'm still lucky and blessed to be a mom. I'm so glad I'm at home with them because I can't imagine trusting anyone else to love my kiddos on days when they add to the list above. Someday, maybe, I will figure out the whole mom thing. Someday, maybe, I will figure out how to discipline my kids in a way that actually works. Someday, maybe, I will look back and see that all of my crazy methods might have actually paid off and my kids aren't horrible spoiled rotten babies. In the meantime, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing the best I can. I'm trying to follow the Spirit and know what to do with my kids. Sometimes that means bundling up my 2 year old and sending him outside - no matter the weather. :)