The Master Weaver’s Plan

I'm obviously terribly behind on my blog and it seems overwhelming to try and catch up. If I'm being completely honest, right now I don't have a desire to go and post pictures about past events because they are hard to look at right now. I'm not quite ready to share with the world all the details of what has been happening in our little family, but I will say that it has been the hardest struggle and trial that I have ever endured and some days I don't want to get out of bed. Luckily for me, I have 3 sweet children who don't make that an option and force me to focus on them. That is the only thing getting me through the day right now.

It's hard for me to understand how any of this happened, and even harder to understand why, but I have decided to give up on that right now. I may not understand in this life. I probably won't. But I do know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, who looks out for me, and who has lifted me in moments when the darkness seemed to consume me. For the first time in my life I have started to question things that I always knew to be true, and I honestly wondered if God even cared about me. How could He stand back and watch this happen if He did? However, it has been those moments when my faith started to waver and my doubt started to gain ground that He would send me a tender mercy and reassure me that He is there and that He cares.

This trial is in no way close to being over, and the tears still come more often than I would like, but I'm starting to turn my life over to my Savior and I'm trying to have faith that He knows better than I do. He knows my heart, He knows what will make me happy, and He knows the refiner's fire that I need to endure to be worthy of His presence again someday.

The Master Weaver’s Plan

My life is but a weaving

Between the Lord and me;

I may not choose the colors–

He knows what they should be.

For He can view the pattern

Upon the upper side

While I can see it only

On this, the under side.

Sometimes He weaves in sorrow,

Which seems so strange to me;

But I will trust His judgment

And work on faithfully.

‘Tis He who fills the shuttle,

And He knows what is best;

So I shall weave in earnest,

And leave to Him the rest.

Not ’til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needed

In the Weaver’s skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned.

-Author Unknown